–and for good reason. Below are actual excerpts from the fifth-grade diary of a writer who, for the purposes of this blog, shall remain nameless. No animals were harmed in the transcription of these entries, and, despite the fact that the writer really, really wanted to revise many of them, not a single word has been changed.

May 13

Today I had my piano lesson. Everyone says I do beautifully. I think I do terribly.

May 14

Tomorrow is my New York trip. I can’t wait. I’m so excited about it.

May 15

It was one of the most marvelous days of my whole life. It was just great.

May 16

Today was my boring Dress Revue.

May 17

Today we had Mr. Tibbetts and his wife up for dinner. The dessert was dreamy.

May 18

Next Monday we are going to change seating arrangements. I hope I get with you know who.

May 21

Today I had my piano lesson. I played baseball + made 2 runs.

May 22

We had gym today. I asked Mr. Roberts about my spelling prize and all he said was, “Moving Up Day.” I can’t wait.

May 23

We went to Granny’s as usual. We had clam chowder. The way Granny makes it it’s delicious! Yum!

May 24

I got into a group with ____!!! YAY!!!!!!!!

May 26

_____ hated our group so he moved out. I almost cried.

May 27

Today I had my piano lesson. Our school is holding a track meet.

May 28

Today is the end of Religious Ed. I didn’t even go to it anyways.

May 31

In 4.H. I am making a wastebasket. It’s real pretty. (I guess.)

June 4

Today was our track meet. Holland Patent won again. !!!!YIPPEE!!!!

June 5

I bought a $.50 milk chocolate candy bar. I love candy. I might get fat.

June 9

Wednesday! To me Wednesday sounds like it’s all blue! That probably sounds weird!