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My scrolling photo display starts up in the kitchen at six every morning. Often it’s my mother smiling out at me. Hi Mom, I say to her, and then I stand watching: my mother leans back in a park chair in Old Forge, face upturned to the sun. My mother stands next to my daughter, both of them holding ice cream. My mother crouches next to her firstborn baby, a look of utter love on her face.
You can’t be an orphan when you’re a woman in your sixties, except that you can. How wrong she wasn’t here for last week’s election results. How wrong she won’t be here to decorate a Christmas tree. How wrong she can’t laugh at her great-granddaughter’s adoration of the stained hard plastic baby doll she drags everywhere. It has been exactly one year now since we took turns at the microphone in the church. The world churns on. I will never stop missing her.
November 1, 1975, by Lucille Clifton
My mother is white bones
in a weed field
on her birthday.
She who would be sixty
has been sixteen years
absent at celebrations.
For sixteen years of minutes
she has been what is missing.
This is just to note
the arrogance of days
continuing to happen
as if she were here.
Click here for more information about the one and only Lucille Clifton.
alisonmcghee.com
My poetry podcast: Words by Winter
Oh, but your mother is there for all those things … you carry her forever. I wrote this one year after my Mom left us.
TO MOM, ONE YEAR ON
Sorry
Mom said that a lot during her final weeks
Sorry you have to help me
Sorry I’m such a bother
Sorry I made a mess
Being from the ‘I’m-so-much-more -evolved-emotionally’ next generation
I suggested
Maybe you could just say
‘Thank you’
That might feel more positive, Mom
Thank you for taking care of me
Thank you for helping me
Thank you for cleaning up this mess
Thank you for loving me
Although she didn’t say it out loud,
I’m sure she was thinking to herself
‘You don’t have to be
such a smart aleck’
Because she was sorry
Sorry to need a hand
Sorry to lose her independence
Sorry to be aware enough to know
she was confused
And a little bit sorry to have me
see her like this
To you, my Mom
I say ‘Thank you’
Thank you for the memories
Thank you for letting me help
Thank you for riding out
your final days with us
Thank you for raising a smart aleck
Thank you for loving me
~ Robin J Phillips May 18, 2020
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