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That woman sitting on the bar stool with a martini and a magazine, or alone on her couch spinning imaginary people into books, or flying solo around the world: she is me. But won’t you be lonely? is a question I’ve heard a lot in my life, and I don’t know how to answer it, because isn’t everyone, somewhere inside themselves, lonely?
It’s rare to be deeply understood. Rare to meet a kindred spirit who understands when you need to jump in your car and drive alone for thousands of miles, or go to a movie alone, or hike alone. Falling in love doesn’t change this conundrum. It took me a long time to understand that my heart’s silent, fierce response to a disappointed partner —What you want from me I cannot give you–did not mean I was at fault. Thirty years ago I might not have understood this beautiful poem below, but I do now.
Pathways, by Rainer Maria Rilke
Understand, I’ll slip quietly
away from the noisy crowd
when I see the pale stars rising, blooming, over the oaks.
I’ll pursue solitary pathways
through the pale twilit meadows,
with only this one dream:
You come too.
Click here for more information about Rainer Maria Rilke.
*Today’s post first appeared in 2019.
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Alison McGhee 
isn’t everyone, somewhere inside themselves, lonely? I believe so. A glimpse of me: Why do I crave attention and yet seek solitude?That is what the poem wants me to ask.
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Yes.
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These words by Rilke are so lovely. Reminds me a little of Rumi.
Loneliness…I’ve been thinking about( and reading about) this subject off and on since I was a child, even when I didn’t yet have the words to name what I was feeling or needing. And I still struggle with it.
It is indeed rare to be deeply understood. But it is one of the greatest human needs. It’s trite to say this but I think everyone just wants to be truly seen and heard for who they are.
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Actually, let me amend that last comment. It is not just a human need. I’ve been involved in animal rescue/shelter work all my life and I see so many scared, lonely animals it’s hard not to want to take them all home.
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