Doug McGhee

Poem of the Week, by Adam Tavel

Posted on by alisonmcghee

Screen Shot 2019-02-16 at 10.16.17 AMMy five year old nephew is currently huddled behind closed doors inside his family’s new freestanding pantry, where he fits neatly into the bottom cupboard. I know this because my brother texts me ongoing updates as to this fixation with the pantry, along with the fact that my nephew just declared he’s no longer a ninja genius but a secret agent. (Didn’t surprise me at all. I never bought the ninja genius line.) My nephew cracks me up and breaks my heart the way all little kids, over and over, break my heart.

The poem below makes me want to put my arms around every little kid in the world – the solemn-eyed children at the schools I visit, the cardboard sword-wielding child in this poem, my secret agent nephew, and every single one of the migrant children I keep seeing in photos, crying at the border. Maybe they don’t know how tiny they are. Maybe we don’t know how strong they are. 

 

Halloween Vespers with Homemade Vader, by Adam Tavel 
        

Bless the amber porch light that coronets
his flimsy helmet’s sheen and the ringlets
this dusk breeze bounces on elastic
straps, thin as earthworms baked black
atop the stoop. Bless the dragging cape
I forgot to hem that brooms its scrape
of maple leaves trailing down beyond
the sidewalk to a dozen murky ponds
pocking our gravel drive with day-old rain.
Bless this Sith Lord’s right glove stained
with juice — it transubstantiates to blood
from rebel galaxies that fought the flood
of clones who stomped peasant martyrs free
of blasters, cause, and zealotry.
Bless the cardboard saber crayoned red
that hums its slash through Wookiee dread,
each Tusken Raider’s door we dash
to swell our bucket’s mounting stash
before we tramp across another lawn.
Bless the mask that slides for coughs and yawns.
Bless the snacking boy who curses Jedi scum,
this son who cleaves my hand and calls me son.

 

For more information about ​Adam Tavel, please click here.

A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a tiny mechanical horse

Posted on by alisonmcghee

little-creatures-on-the-buffetWe have called you here today, Alison, for a reason.

And what might that reason be?

Don’t get that look on your face. This is for your own good.

Nothing that begins with “this is for your own good” is ever any good. Also, there are so many of you and only one of me.

But we are tiny mechanical creatures and you are 5’10”.

5’10.25″, thanks. And could you tell me if the comma should actually go inside the quotation mark there? It just looks so wrong when I do it that way.

No, we cannot tell you, as we are tiny mechanical ungrammatical creatures skilled only in leaping, flipping, scuttling rapidly, dancing in a robot-like manner and spinning about in circles while lying on our backs.

So can I go now?

No. We’ve asked you here today to explain yourself in the matter of the pound cake you served at a gathering in this very room approximately one month ago.

What about it?

So you remember the gathering?

Yep.

Do you remember bringing the pound cake to the dining room when it was time for dessert?

Yep.

Do you recall telling your brother, who is, we believe, 6’6.5″ tall, in response to his delighted exclamation of “Wow! That looks just like our mother’s pound cake!” the following: “It is our mother’s pound cake! I followed her recipe exactly!”

Yep.

And do you feel that was a truthful statement?

Yep.

(TINY BLUE MECHANICAL ROBOT ABRUPTLY BEGINS A ROBOTIC DANCE. TINY MECHANICAL MONKEY ABRUPTLY BEGINS LEAPING BACKWARD WHILE STILL CLUTCHING BANANA.  BOTH ARE QUICKLY SILENCED BY THE TINY MECHANICAL BUMBLEBEE.)

We ask you now to take a look at the pound cake recipe, carefully written out on a recipe card in your mother’s distinctive backward-slanting lefty’s handwriting and stored in the small wooden recipe box next to the Jim Beam in the cupboard above your stove. Is this the recipe that you followed “exactly”?

Yep.

So you changed nothing about the recipe, then?

Nope.

(SILENCE, FOLLOWED BY AN ABRUPT CONCATENATION OF ALL TINY MECHANICAL CREATURES, WHIRRING, HISSING, LEAPING, FLIPPING AND SPINNING.)

Okay! Geeze! Maybe I changed it a tiny bit.

Yet you still feel justified in referring to it as your mother’s exact pound cake recipe?

Yep. It’s called “tweaking.” Ever heard of it?

(SILENCE.)

You guys are too uptight.

(SILENCE.)

Are you actually accusing me of lying to my own brother?

(SILENCE.)

You know what I don’t like? I don’t like your beady little eyes all staring at me.

(SILENCE.)

You know what else? I’m going to leave the room now. That’s because I can. Unlike you, who are not people with legs but who are, instead, tiny mechanical creatures perched precariously on a window shelf where an errant cat could knock you to smithereens with a single swipe of the paw.

(VAGUE WHIRRINGS AND CLICKS OF DISPLEASURE, MIXED WITH AN UNDENIABLE HINT OF FEAR.)

Hey, I know – maybe I’ll go make a pound cake.